Dwarven Battle Bread Draws First Blood

Joseph of Palmyra made some bread. It was authentic Viking flatbread. He found out why the Vikings went a' viking. If that was what thier old ladies were making back home in the frozen north, then no wonder they went to England and France looking for tasty food. Rumor has it that Viking flatbread could be made at a child's birth and served at his wedding. I tases kind of like rye krysp, but dryer.

When he screwed up the first batch, he accdently stumbled onto the long lost seceret of dwarven battle bread. I looks like a bread frisbee, but harder, and with jaggy edges. In his book "Diskworld Companion" Terry Pratchet explains Dwarf bread thusly:

"A dwarfish delicacy and battle weapon. Origionally a sensible attempt to make a weapon that could also be eaten, it contains all you need to sustain you for days, mainly by causing you to preform miricales of endurance in order to get somewhere where you don't have to eat dwarf bread. .... A properly thrown slice of dwarfbread is a fearsome weapon, especially in view of its erratic aerodynamic properties."

At West Kingdom (SCA) June Crown Joseph found this out for himself. On Sunday he and a few of his friends were tossing the loaf about and having a great time. Sven and Sir Connell were having a great time since Sven is a simi-pro frisbee golf player. Sven made a perfect toss that Colin attempted to catch with clapping hand style and when he looked at his hand it was bleeding. The battle bread had taken a chunk of skin out of his palm and he was leaking a bit.

They hauled Sir Colin over to the chiurgeon and got a band-aid. Since the medic wasn't there they had no choice to haul him before His Majesty, King Radnor and apoligize for injuring one of his knights. This of course led to His Majesty making a few tosses of the loaf, and getting hit in the leg.

After about an hour and a half of this foolishness the bread started cracking up and they had to quit, because Joseph wanted to save this, his only loaf of dwarven battle bread, for posterity.